by Aqueene Wilson
In honor of ‘dia di muhe 2025’ I invite us all to celebrate our womanly existence in all its shapes, forms, states and glory. For it is not those who are already most seen and celebrated that need us the most. Instead, those who have lived life’s battles behind closed doors; cried their tears alone in hospital beds; or redefined womanhood simply by being their authentic selves truly deserve the attention of our hearts and the dedication of my moving pen. Because after everything they have been through, they simply cannot be forgotten. After the many lives they have lived, and the radical transformations they’ve undergone, they cannot just leave this world without a visible trail of their bravery, the revelation of their softness, the documentation of their scars, or the sharing of their lived experiences. It would simply be a disservice to the legacy of Caribbean womanhood for their stories to remain invisible. And so, I dedicate this next piece to my dear friend Nicole Henrietta.
A poem by nicole henrietta
Nicole and I met in highschool, but reconnected in 2021 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer stage 2. The strange thing is that while most relationships get tested in the midst of treatments, ours deepened, despite living a long distance from each other. At the time I was still living in the Netherlands, and she had already returned back to Curaçao. So she shared the news in an Instagram message when she revealed that the scarves that I was about to bring to her were in fact needed because she was diagnosed with cancer. I was speechless. Shocked even. How could this happen at just 26 years old? Huh? Should I check my breasts now as well now? Does she have the right support? A million questions went through my mind because her story shattered all of what I’ve been taught. It was proof that this disease clearly did not discriminate. Sadly, our youth offers us no immunity and it is precisely for this reason that Nicole wants to raise awareness by sharing her story. As a way to prevent and destigmatize, but also to emphasize on the beautiful possibilities of coming home to our bodies. Because the body never lies. She tells me herself that she wasn’t feeling her best the months before she was diagnosed;
‘Like I was feeling off for quite some time already. I didn’t feel any pain, I didn’t get a rash, there was no nipple discharge, but I felt extremely tired. I started taking iron pills but it only got worse every month. One day my hand accidentally bumped into my boob and I felt something a bit too hard, at a place it didn’t belong. It just did not feel right. I went to my doctor, and my doctor sent me to ‘advent ziekenhuis’. Considering my age though, they didn’t think that a mammogram was necessary, until they saw what they saw on the echo’.
This simply highlights the critical importance of listening to our bodies, even when traditional markers of illness are absent. Nicole’s womanly intuition was ultimately what led to her doctor. But unfortunately a diagnosis is not where a cancer journey ends. Most often it is only the beginning of a long and challenging journey, marked by intense medical interventions, and an exhaustive test of physical and emotional endurance.
For Nicole, it looked like the accumulation of the following:
4 aggressive AC chemotherapy session
12 soft chemo therapy sessions ( taxol)
19 session of radiation therapy
7,5 years of hormonal therapy
Frequent hospital visits
Side effects
Not eating and drinking for days because ‘ my body was rejecting everything’
Hair fell out
Skin breakouts
Weight gain and body transformations
Body-image issues due to skin breakouts
Physical pain
Emotional pain and rollercoasters
Increased self-awareness
Healing and recovering
Giving up autonomy
Stop working
Surviving
Healing
Adjusting
Setbacks
Fatigue and lack of energy
Accepting that I can’t be active for a while
Grieving the freedom I had.
Change washing machine to a better one to make it easier for me
Bawling, ugly crying
Being left alone by friends and family that didn’t know how to cope
Not being allowed to lift heavy things for a while
Learning that asking for help is not a weakness
Grieving relationships that ended
Experiencing loneliness and lack
Feeling misunderstood
I know it’s a lot. And that’s exactly why I revealed it like this. Because we way often detach cancer from the human experience. But Nicole’s journey wasn’t just a series of medical procedures; it was a daily battle. So we need to move beyond the impersonal naming of her intense treatments or a boring list of medical interventions that we can’t wait to skip over. Rather, an emotional, personal and overwhelming dive into everything that cancer (could) encompasses is necessary to fully understand all that was being asked of her to still be here with us.
Because ‘cancer is a bitch’, she says with a sigh. It truly interrupts your life. It creates a sense of instability and uncertainty that many may never know. It is not just a passive occurrence, but it actively intervenes in the course of your life and profoundly impacts how you see, move and understand the world within and around you. And because of all of this help is of the essence.
‘I had to learn this the hard way’, she says. ‘I see women as the pillars of society. They naturally care for others intensively, but often fight in silence, trying not to hurt their children or parents. I needed to learn that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength, And let it be known that we, cancer patients, don’t always know what we need. We are often just surviving in a blur. So I want people to realize the importance of actions instead of words. Cook your friend a meal, go to their house and offer to clean, garden, do groceries, take them to the doctor, etc. Will they say “no, no need to”? Yes. Do they still need it very much? Yes. Try to be present while also respecting boundaries’.
And this is where the importance of true community comes in, of true sisterhood. Not acquaintances or even family members, you see every once in a while, but a solid group of people who are willing to minimize your suffering. Mamacitas who make time for you. Aunties who hold space for you. Chosen sisters who lift the heavy things for you. Because the thing is that ‘sometimes the challenges or even disabilities are not visible to the naked eye’. It becomes easy to forget that someone actually needs help because they look okay. And I know that we are all doing our best in this thing called life, but the time is also ripe to learn and expand our awareness on cancer. To find it within ourselves to show up for patients and even those on remission, because it might be the gentle nudge needed to remind them that they are not alone. It might be the simple act of presence, of unwavering support, that reminds them that their worth is not defined by their illness. Nicole said it herself;
‘Sisterhood kept me alive. Sisterhood gave me hope. Sisterhood made me feel seen and loved again. Sisterhood made me push through. Words will never be enough to thank the friends that stayed, even though my life changed. And nothing in this world will ever be enough to thank the strangers that became family, showing me the rainbow in the midst of the heavy rain showers. They fertilized my soil and today I’m blooming thanks to them’.
Prinses Wilhelmina Fonds, with its mission to offer guidance, hope, resources, and education to those affected by cancer, plays an important role in fostering connections within Curaçao. To further this goal, they launched a new Facebook group today called ‘Vrouwen, veerkracht & verbinding’, where women can come together. Click here if you want to join.
I did my part in the form of a photoshoot, offering her the space to embrace her body unapologetically and heal at the same time. Every scar was intentionally made visible as a testament to her journey, survivorship, and existence and it was beautiful to see. Rather than hiding, she chose to reveal herself, allowing me to be the one to capture her body in this ‘specific stage of fighting cancer’ and it was an honor. I remember asking her: How do you continue to love a body that has scarred and challenged you in so many ways? And her answer was, ‘precisely because of that. My body still carries me through life’. And these photos are a testament to that.
While Nicole’s journey echoes many others, it remains uniquely hers. Cancer has never been a monolithic experience. Each cancer story is deeply personal and profoundly different. So let this be a call to create room for more cancer revelations of recovering ‘chichi’s’, ‘mami’s’ in remission, (un) diagnosed sista’s or even ‘yaya’s’ looking over us in the Caribbean heavens. Let these words serve as a fountain of motivation to show up, speak up and bare all. Most importantly, let this rich and complex love letter to womanhood be a reminder to honor our bodies and those of our sisters more intentionally, starting with the act of feeling our breasts on a regular basis.
Aqueene Wilson
Instagram:@aqueene_wilson & @_humanpowerseries_
Note: This article is the first installment in our two-part series exploring Nicole Henrietta’s resilient journey. Join us as we chronicle her remarkable path through adversity to achievement, with part two continuing the story next week.
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